Okay so I’m pretty sure my day was worse than yours. I’ve learnt a few things recently and I’m going to share them with you.
Late last year we decided to do an extension on our house by converting our huge garage to a kids lounge area, two bedrooms, an office and a laundry/mudroom. The builder gave us two days notice before his arrival so in our haste we dumped every single thing in that garage into our triple bay shed. There was no order, we just dumped crap anywhere we found space. Our shed is like a really bad obstacle course. We talked about cleaning it out but it’s so bloody hot in summer we are waiting for cooler weather. Anyway, this random act played in our favour last night.
After feeding rump steak to our dog Caramello and our kitten Pickles, I later let them both inside. Pickles sleeps in the laundry because he’s a kitten and he’s a little bit annoyingly playful.
Caramello used to sleep on the end of my bed. Last night I got into bed and she was sprawled our at the end of my bed when she farted. It was seriously rotten. I considered booting her outside but couldn’t be bothered getting up again.
I fell asleep and woke when the sun came up. She was gone from the end of my bed and was on the carpet. She never does this. I put her outside and wandered into the girls rooms to be startled by a rather horrendous smell.
Dog shit! Not any dog shit but sloppy dog shit. All over the carpet in two bedrooms and she had kindly stepped in it and walked it on just about every tile in our house. As an afterthought she needed to clean her bum so she then slid her bum on my bedroom carpet. Her skid marks are clearly marked on my beige carpet.
After realising I had no rubber gloves I put a plastic bag on my hand to get the vomit worthy task done.
The kids were nearly vomiting!! Imagine how I was feeling!!!
After two hours of bleach, detol and any thing I could find to get rid of the smell the kids were ready for school.
We all jump in the car which was parked beside the shed. I put the car in reverse and I see it. Our shed doors were open and I knew that we had been broken into in an instant.
I jumped out of the car and I screamed ‘Fuck’ rather loudly before keeling over into hysteric laughter. My children looked on with concern that finally their mother had lost the plot.
Although the thieving criminals had damaged every single shed door by trying to get in, they only seemed to get away with a couple of push bikes. I laughed harder when I realised in the dark of night our shed would’ve been an obstacle course from hell. Our chaos worked to our benefit this time.
I got the kids to school and sat down for a coffee as I called carpet cleaners. When I was told two weeks wait I did what any normal person would do, I cried. The man arranged for my carpets to be cleaned at 11am today.
As I sit in my nice clean house tonight with the dog outside looking at me with sad eyes (and I looking back without an absolute ounce of guilt) and busted locks on my shed doors, my front gate now locked with chains and padlocks to deter the criminals, I know that feeding my dog rump steak was clearly my weakest moment.
Happy Wednesday Friends and thanks for the overflowing love you rained on me since I posted last night. Xxx