I didn’t get a chance to write a post yesterday as it was my husbands birthday.
Last year he turned the big 4-0 and I had organised a surprise weekend extravaganza that he talked about for months afterwards.
This year, I woke him up at 6am to say I was going to work and the two girls needed their nappy changed, that our little man was watching television and wanted some toast and by the way “Happy Birthday, I’ll take you out for dinner tonight with the kids cause I will leave work early”.
Fast forward twelve hours and I was only just on the bus making my way home after a long day at the office. The kids had eaten dinner and my darling husband was ordering Thai takeaway for our dinner.
We sat on the lounge and ate our Thai and I asked him how his day was. He told me that he did washing, folding, fed and watered the children, oiled the new front deck, gave the kids dinner, put them to bed and was now sitting down with me for the first time.
I laughed. Actually I nearly choked on my dinner.
How times had changed. My lovely husband took redundancy after 22 years a few months ago and I went back to work earlier this year. We have had a complete role reversal.
A few weeks ago he told me he needed to tell me something, that he didn’t enjoy the stay-at-home-parent thing as much as I did. I told him that there were many times that I too didn’t enjoy it!
He told me how he remembers coming home from a long day at work a few times and the house was chaos, and although he never verbalised this (lucky for him), he thought, what has she done all day!! He now feels terrible for thinking that because he realises that some days it’s a challenge with three small children to even get out the front door.
He doesn’t dress the children in matching clothes like I would;
He doesn’t separate the loads of washing like I would;
He doesn’t feed the kids what I would;
He doesn’t play with the kids like I would;
He does many things….. but most, not like I would.
But, the kids belly’s are full, their clothes are clean, they are warm, they are happy and they are loved.
I realised pretty quickly there are so many things I could do my way but why? The result is the same, our family still works.
I love him even more today for all he has done for our family. For the past fifteen years he has been the main bread winner and worked hard and been very successful at what he does for a living. He has made sure that our home is secure and beautiful and our yard just as beautiful. He loves to build stuff and is great at it. He has been an amazing father to all our children. He is the bad cop when I am the good cop.
He has loved and supported me, us, our family through the most traumatic months of our lives, when we lost our baby girl. He helped me to stand up, he helped me to smile he helped me to survive grief. He helped me survive three months of going to the hospital so we could bring our baby girl home. He helped me be the person I am today, the people our children are growing into.
He is amazing and I love him and sometimes we just don’t say that enough.