Torture or Treasure?

Because I haven’t yet updated our full story I thought I’d give a brief run down on my twins. Charlize and Lucia were whisked into the world at 27 weeks and 1 day due to Stage 3 Twin to Twin Transfusion (TTTS). This is a condition that only affects identical twins. In laymens terms the babies share one food source and unfortunately for some reason the blood vessels get a bit confused and one baby gets too much and the other baby doesn’t get enough. It’s usually the baby that gets too much that loses its battle because the excessive blood puts pressure on the heart.

on the 14th November 2011, Lucia was getting too much. She was in heart failure. Another couple of hours in my belly and we would’ve lost her. Thankfully our specialists noticed and pulled both my tiny babies from that dangerous situation into an even bigger situation…..the big wide world of germs.

Our situation was different to most, Charlize was supposed to be our healthy twin and Lucia was supposed to be our sick twin but somewhere along the line that changed and Charlize’s tiny body could not fight the germs that attacked her body. After 32 hours our sweet little girl closed her eyes for eternity in my heartbroken arms.

Since losing Charlize I have joined many support groups which brings me to today … I specifically joined a group on Facebook called Twin to Twin Transfusion. It is a beautiful group with stories similar to ours but so many stories started out worse and ended up with two healthy, happy identical little people.

Today I have seen photos of 25 week twins who were very sick but have just celebrated their first birthday. The group has educated me too much I think on the variations of medical intervention of Twin to Twin Transfusion. Different specialists intervene or don’t intervene at varying stages.

My girls were were 26 weeks and 4 days when we arrived at hospital with Stage one TTTS and we were advised that it was too dangerous for laser surgery to try and stop the progress of this cruel disease.

So I ask you like I ask myself every single day, are these support groups torture or are they something that we should see as a treasure, a miracle that is life that comes from a high stress situation? I’m still not sure if I should hit the ‘unlike’ button or keep reading these beautiful stories that often break my heart.

Why couldn’t both my little girls be saved? 


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