Why I’m Here

After the year that we’ve had and all that we’ve gone through it was suggested many times by my psychologist to write things down.  She always seems to be right but it usually takes me a while before I agree or listen to her.

I resisted constantly, I think for fear of really having an outpouring of emotion that would be too much to handle.

A few times I wrote down snippets of our story on Facebook on the special page created for Lucia and I received many comments and messages encouraging me to write our story.

In November 2012 we went on our first holiday as a family of five. We travelled up the East Coast of Australia for a little over a month.

During our holiday I felt as if the clouds were parting and I could see the sunshine again.

We got home in a few days before Christmas and on our first day back home one of our neighbours came to say hello. I knew her daughter was having her third baby and asked if the baby had been born. She told me he was nine months old.

I couldn’t believe it, had I really not paid attention to anything that happened in the world since the 14th November 2011 when my twins were born?

A few days later I went out with a few friends for a paddle board on the lake. It was quite an enlightening time for me, I couldn’t stop looking around me at the sun shining, the water glistening, smiling faces, hearing my friends talk to me. I realised that after a year of experiencing every stage of grief I had come out the other side.

Because of Charlize my life was fuller, more meaningful and I was appreciative off everything around me. It was then that I wanted to write the story of our family and share it with our friends.

Thank you to everyone new and old who have helped me travel this journey that I wish no parent has to endure.

I hope you enjoy my blog “Orluchiana”.

Sending love, strength and happiness to those that have lost a child. I hope that this in someway helps you in your journey of grief.

With much love
Christine xx

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One thought on “Why I’m Here”

  1. Dear Christine,
    How powerful your words are…. not only to me as I reflect back on our special moments together but to you, your family & friends and the world at large. You are truly a thoughtful and caring mother with a big heart to share with us all.
    Keep up the good work
    Your Psychologist!

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